Women's Care Center of Rochester, NY

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My Girlfriend Is Pregnant — Now What?

We realize that you and your girlfriend are now experiencing considerable anxiety. You both thought a pregnancy would never happen. Perhaps your friends are encouraging you to pressure her to have an abortion. Initially, this might seem like an easy solution, but your friends don't have to live with this decision and all the risks involved. It is hard to think straight — you are on an emotional roller coaster.

Whatever your situation is, you are not alone. Many couples who experience an unexpected pregnancy immediately worry about how their futures will be affected. The first thing to do is try to calm down, don't panic, and carefully consider your options.

It seems hard to realize that a woman can simply choose to have an abortion without having any permission from the baby's father. Oftentimes, women who have had abortions were hoping that their boyfriends would try to stop them. Some women even tell stories of how they were actually on the abortion table wishing that the baby's father would rush in and intervene. While our society says that abortion is "a woman's choice", the woman in a crisis pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. Your girlfriend is looking to you for support because she may feel she has no one else to confide in during this difficult time. When a woman hears her boyfriend say, "Don't ask me to tell you what to do", she interprets this to mean that the man wants the abortion. Be careful you don't say something that you'll later regret. Inform her that your love is not dependent upon whether she has an abortion. Assure her that she doesn't have to get an abortion to please you.

How many times have you told your girlfriend that you loved her, would take care of her and do anything for her? If ever she needed this love and support, it is now — more than ever! In fact, it is well documented that the majority of couples who have an abortion before they were married break up. You may not be aware, but there are many serious physical and psychological risks associated with abortion. Your girlfriend may not even know these. Learn more about what your unborn child looks like before you consider terminating him or her. Have you considered the loving option of adoption? If you really care about this woman, tell her that she does not have to abort. Show her this Women's Care Center web site, which offers all kinds of help and resources right here in Rochester. Since 1990, the center has helped countless couples with unplanned pregnancies. We are ready now to help you and your girlfriend.

The information provided herein should not be used during any medical emergency, or for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition. A licensed physician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical conditions. Call 911 for all medical emergencies. Links to other sites are provided for information only. They do not constitute endorsements of those other sites by the Women's Care Center, nor does the Women's Care Center guarantee the accuracy of information on other web sites.